The desire lives in me to create, manifest, something by me, to love... I choose the topic, I am in love, I adore it, becasue it is so perfect, but I stay and I freeze: „I cannot do that, I am not able to do that... „In the background you can hear the classical piano, violin and chello, I hold the pencil in my hand, I am thinking, but I can not... I start focusing, the music becomes one with the universe, and I start to be a part of it as well, It does not last too long and we are together, I am completely and entirely a part of, there are no thoughts, just the the existence and the creation, and a deep calm peace and love surronds me (us). I hear the voice of the graphite and I see as it is crumbling into small pieces... or am I evaporate? The borders of the physical world disappear, and yes this is me as well, I am a pert of it with all my cells. I take the oil paint tubes out, and I start mixing the colors. I detect its velvety, silky consistence in my entire body, and a world with thousands shades of colors opens for me when i mix the colors. My first movements are indefinite while I am putting the strokes to the canvas. I put the colors and stains next to each other, and a thought appears and I find myself again in the limits of the physical world: „Oh no, this does not make sense, shape, color, only separated spots, I am not able to....” „I am looking for the beauty, but I see only meaningless spots. Then I start focusing again, and I pull the colors together with my brush, and they almost merge into one another, as I melt into the universe again. I just enjoy as the brush almost blends into the canvas and I merge into this calmness. I must stretch, I stand up and I look at the picture from a distance: „Unbelievable, it is impossible, I did not do this, I am not able to do something like this... but I did it, and I am in love more than I have ever  been, I just watch it, and I start loosing myself in the viewing... I feel, I am one with it, that is me... I am in love...